When A Woman Has To Do…

04/05/2016 by syrbal-labrys

1wicked fk tired…what a woman sometimes has to do, in Ireland, she goes to jail.  How dare a woman determine that she should be in control of her body and does not want to have a child?  I just love how Ted Cruz(ing the edges of rationality) says the “people” should decide on abortion at the ballot box.  What that really means is that he hopes male voters who think women (who shouldn’t get a say over their own reproductive lives) will be outnumbered by men who “know better”.  I love how the men who don’t risk their bodies, their families, their futures bearing children call themselves “pro-life.”

Let me be clear.  I got pregnant from a hot look in spite of every temporary birth control measure I tried.  I’ve had seven or eight pregnancies.  I miscarried at least(spontaneously aborted being the medical term) three times.  I have three children.  I had one intentional abortion of a pregnancy that likely would have self-aborted and saved me $400 and a bunch of shaming if I had waited about two more weeks.

I have also been an abortionist (there is a title I’ve never said aloud to myself before).  No, I didn’t take a coat hanger or knitting needle to myself or anyone else.  But when my daughter was pregnant and despairing and afraid to go to Planned Parenthood, fearing harassment and worse, fearing the drug addicted abusive father (to whom she was not married and was escaping from) might try to legally stop her if he caught wind of it; I did my best to aid her.  I was afraid…for her and of what I was attempting.  I used an acupressure technique that I had no confidence in, but it was all I dared as I desperately attempted to talk her into a Planned Parenthood appointment.  I did the routine twice a day for eight days, and was beginning to think it was bogus and ineffective.  Then the cramps began, and within a few hours it was over.  We wept together and buried the tablespoon full of undifferentiated tissue (but with what appeared to be two tiny whitish sacks) under a flower bed.

1gop and pro lifeLet me be clear.  I was horrified at this relatively benign and safe process that involved no sharp inserted objects, no source of infection.  I was furious that this was what fear induced by male interference reduced us to in the situation.  Did we both want a better choice?  Yes!  Could we find one?  No.  And one more thing, little graphics announcing that “no pregnancy is an accident” are bullshit.  Also, they are very dismissive of women and the various complications of female lives.  Condoms do BREAK!  Both the daughter and I have had this experience so many times that we bitterly joke about having invisible teeth down there.  I am so sick of “pro-life” meaning pro-fetus and not considering the lives of women at all.  When does pro-life also include the life of a living breathing viable-outide-the-body WOMAN?

Tarot_001And the fury — oh, that burns hot.  No wonder Kali-Ma is portrayed eating a male’s entrails!  That a bunch of men screaming about the glory of their male god get to make decisions for the women (who, in bitter coincidence, are usually the ones who go to church) while they seem to bear no consequences of the sex they SO like to have themselves.  That I’ve had to recently counsel a young woman to avoid sexual relations with her estranged husband because a man talking about “Needing more intimacy, and oh, btw, why CAN’T we have children now instead of waiting ten years?” is definitely trying to trap her in marriage failing due to his own foul treatment of her?  A man who abusively labels her talking to male friends (since high school, for pity’s sake) by text or phone as “adultery”.  A man who tells her “I’ve been a nice guy; I WAS going to put up a secret nanny cam to watch you all the time, but I didn’t go through with it.”  Seriously?  WHAT fucking century IS this?  Time has been moving backwards for women for a while now.

If you are reading this?  Please ask the (other) women you know to consider just how far back they really want to go before voting Republican this November.  Some might need to ask whether possibly being one of the women whose reproductive rights were circumscribed by patriarchal religion really means you should impose that shit on other women just to make you feel better about your own victimization.





The name of this blog, and my Dreamwidth blog, Herlander Refugee, is taken from a 1915 feminist novel "Herland". It makes my heart sing that modern women are experimenting with creation of a new "Herland"! Yes, comments are closed. Anyone who just MUST reach me can do so at syrbal6 at gmail dot com.

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