11/24/2015 by syrbal-labrys
…heavy, slushy wet flakes, like wet feathers. Or little bits of my heart, blown apart like a snow ball hitting a wall. It is the week of Thanksgiving, a holiday I do not celebrate. I don’t celebrate because for me it is tinged with Christian hypocrisy from the get-go, and even more so as a current event. I don’t celebrate because it was cynical from the start – Amerindians making temporary alliance with the Pilgrims they saved from starvation because the gun toting whites could help them make more effective war on another tribe of Amerindians.
Yet I am told year after year that it is the quintessential American holiday and if that is true, it depresses me in ways I cannot count. My home is decorated for Yule – our celebration of the Winter Solstice, the “return” of Light. Today I set the timers to keep the tree and fireplace lit all day long because the world feels so darkened and blighted with suffering, war, grief, and willful ignorance and hatred.
The first news I read this morning was of Turkey shooting down a Russian plane that kept shortcutting across a little niche of Turkey on its runs over Syria. Putin is posturing himself and his country into another war. No super power can admit that it fucked up, right? I mean, we certainly don’t ever admit we
propped up backed the wrong political horse in our little global regime changes, do we? So, of course, people in uniform and others will die because some pilot just couldn’t be bothered to not do a straight flight for his own ease and his “fearless leader” is banking on being “czar of all the Russias” is good enough reason to be asinine and use some old weaponry up.
Of course, if that news wasn’t enough to make an old Cold Warrior shudder over her coffee, the most recent Trumpisms and Carson-antics would suffice. I feel like I am in Germany and it is about 1937, to tell you the truth. If Trump thinks a Black Lives Matter protestor “deserved” to be beaten …. well, seriously, can the Brown Shirts be distant in our own time? WTF is wrong with you America? You SHOULD be pelting this man with rotten vegetables, not “hailing” his alleged victories over the bottom feeding press corps.
The refugee crisis is bringing the
cockroaches fear mongering usual suspects cry-babies out of the woodwork. Well, you all had better toughen up! If you think THIS crisis is rough wait till it is not just war and religious mania making folks run, but THIRST. I don’t understand the supine silence of half of my nation; though I grant you, it could be the same sense of self-shocked inarticulate mouth-drop I am feeling. The rank, ripe smell of racism and fear makes a freaking heady bouquet for the other half, though, doesn’t it?
I have nearly shuttered this blog and the one over at EP, and with some sadness. I had planned a new blog for the new year; but I have to say, I am not sure I can do it. I vote, I phone call. But more and more? I hunker down with my family and try to keep breathing without a stress-induced asthma attack.
If you pop back in and this blog and others are simply gone, deleted and vanished? Well, don’t be surprised. Even us old broads, us wet hens, have our days of discouragement when it just seems that throwing in the towel isn’t even noticed; unless it is a gasoline soaked towel in the neck of a bottle of fuel! Oh, and unless you are screaming something idiotically religious and hateful at the same instant.
I never idealized my nation. I’ve decried the hate and ignorance all my life and acted to bring light upon the dark stuff. Now? My nation is holding up the dark as if it IS the light…and that is killing the light in my heart and my eyes.