01/19/2015 by syrbal-labrys
As I held forth in my New Year’s prognostications post, I am not very optimistic for my country. The news accounts for about 30% of my personal misery component on any given day. Most lately, even though I personally believe atheism is healthier for the world than religion; the idea of a right to offend –but mostly being applied to a single religion — seriously disturbs me.
In my personal life, things are semi-secure; if still rocked by PTSD issues. One of the issues is how to communicate with a husband who suffers from what seems like little mini dissociative fugue states. It superficially resembles someone just not paying attention, except that he actually doesn’t remember ANYthing about the event — including things HE said or did in the time that vanishes.
Looking for coping mechanisms, I consulted all sorts of self-help things. If someone is not listening or is incapable of listening to you? They all said the same thing: stop talking to that person.
Well, it dawned on me that blogging is, of course, “talking”. And the largely dissociated American public is not who reads this blog. The people who DO read this blog don’t need to hear whatever I am saying; I am singing to a choir. If I can’t even figure out how to successfully get through to my PTSD-afflicted husband, what the hell am I doing wasting my time trying to reach people who are FAR more removed from reality?
So, I am walking away. I don’t know for how long, perhaps permanently. Maybe I will manage to come back in my own New Year…after Samhain 2015 (October 27). I will continue — even if I have to force myself, to blog over at my more personal Experiential Pagan site, as therapy in maintaining connections. I feel like a Firefly marathon (And you thought the Alliance was bad?) is possibly needed, I definitely am having one of those “When you can’t run, you crawl. And when you can’t crawl, when you can’t do that … you find someone to carry you.” sort of weeks. Except, there is nobody to carry me.
Oh, and yes, fuck Mondays.