Reappraisal, Remodel, Revive, Relive!


01/01/2014 by syrbal-labrys

Snow SantaA new year began last night, as poor Jack the Samoyed trembled and paced and could not be comforted. We were surprised that such an old dog had such a reaction to the fire works, but very grateful for the post-midnight peace. But lying there petting a trembling dog gave me a lot of time thinking about the meaning of this new year for our family.

The last couple years were rough; the Minotaur husband had a PTSD crisis of rather epic proportions in 2011. His best friend suicided that year and his step-father died on Pearl Harbor Day. I moved out of the family home to give us both distance as he finally faced his traumatic past. Now, two years later he is enjoying life possibly for the first real time in decades. Our marriage is mended…or I should say recreated. We both felt it die, you see and had to rebuild from scratch based on what we HAD seen in the other person through the weary decades of a troubled marriage that nonetheless held together and built a life. A kind of simple happiness that blossoms in real joy is now the new normal, and we currently both are resting in that peaceful state!

But rest will end soon enough…since the Minotaur retires this year from his job, we have some notable tasks to complete first. The kitchen is getting a remodel! Our first home remodel was in 1990; and very on the cheap. The cabinet tops are battered and the doors are showing wear–so we are beginning to empty cupboards that will permanently go away. An antique hutch top on the wall is now my massive spice cupboard! Slow preparations for kitchen drama/trauma are under way for work to begin in late spring!

But we shall be at work THIS very week in more serious preparation. We are hiring help for the kitchen(saving money to do that now); in a houseful of injured vets not only do we not want to suffer serious pain, but we want to help someone else with a job. And because pain is an issue, we took care of US first this time. This week we are building a barrel sauna and we will use it as soon as it is running to assuage the pains of winter AND work! It is the family Yule gift/project —this is our revival for tired, injured, aging bodies. And since we all have ambitious exercise programs atop old injuries, yeah, this might be the best idea we ever had.

And then, at last…with the Yule lights still ablaze around us, we plan to step forward recognizing this year as a truly new life for us all. My Manchild will marry this summer (post-remodel!), his bride graduates college this spring, the Minotaur and I will see our 37th anniversary next month — but we feel like newlyweds. For the first New Year’s Day in a very long time, it feels like a new beginning — a new life!


6 thoughts on “Reappraisal, Remodel, Revive, Relive!

  1. Jennifer says:

    My very best wishes to you and the family for a wonderful year!

  2. Brina says:

    Happy, Joyous, Hopeful New Year to you all!

    It was really quiet in our area. No fireworks stands at all (that I saw…not even on the Res), so the few that went off were obviously leftovers from the 4th.

  3. tlryder says:

    The Jungian analyst Marion Woodman said that she had four marriages with her husband in their life together. Death of the relationships they thought they had, and rebirth into new understanding.

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The name of this blog, and my Dreamwidth blog, Herlander Refugee, is taken from a 1915 feminist novel "Herland". It makes my heart sing that modern women are experimenting with creation of a new "Herland"! Yes, comments are closed. Anyone who just MUST reach me can do so at syrbal6 at gmail dot com.

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