Well, Never Mind, Then

13

12/10/2013 by syrbal-labrys


photoI note my statistics over here are depressing. Lucky to get two or three hits a day with a high of about ten. I know my life likely seems terribly boring to most folks; crisis and cursing “sells” better even when it is free to read! So, while I thought blog-splitting was a decent idea to keep the hard-core rantage away from the more gentle pursuits of my life, apparently nobody gives a damn about gentle anything.

So, I may as well let my secondary blog run down and out by year’s end. To be brutally honest, I don’t feel I really have much original content to add even here. My opinions are often the same as the general “left coast” ideas seen around the bloggerific world. And when my opinions are not the same, they just piss people off — I diverge from some feminist ideals apparently, and religiously I piss off EVERYone in the spectrum. (I fit in the desired pigeon-holes about as well as Cinderella’s step-sisters fit in Cindy’s shoes. And I am NOT chopping off my toes, thanks.)

The real question becomes whether I should spend any more time blogging at ALL, doesn’t it? It isn’t as if I don’t have enough offline work needing done to keep me busy. And there are bigger, better voices than mine in plenty.

I grow more and more tired of observing and sniping at what the “patch” there talks about…it really does seem that the stupidest, loudest, and most selfish forces in the world are winning. I used to feel one had to stay engaged — it was necessary to watch, to fight, to shout, to attempt to stop the tide of wrongness. But I don’t feel I am accomplishing much of that any more. I am pretty much depressed to speechlessness by the very ‘enduring’ quality of the actual Operation Clusterfuck in Afghanistan —we basically let a corrupt self-important puppet of our own making dictate the terms of us getting the fuck OUT of there? WTunholy FUCK?

If I can’t find some way to feel relevant to a world that I feel less and less desire to participate with, I may let both blogs go. This one starts having ads again in February; so I may try to hang on to at least use up the ad-free I paid for, but maybe this old lady just needs to go weed her garden and say ‘fuck it all’ to the rest?

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13 thoughts on “Well, Never Mind, Then

  1. fdchief218 says:

    Count me as one who enjoys reading your less-kinetic ruminations…but, then, I post shit about cats, so, there’s that.

    I guess my thoughts would be, if you have something to say, go ahead and say it. Even if no one but you and half a dozen passers-by read it. If worth was judged by pure popularity fucking Yanni and American Idol would be considered the coin of the realm, and wouldn’t that be a fucking nightmare.

    I had a platoon sergeant that told me once that the real worth of a man or woman was what they did when they knew no one would ever know; that if you died alone fighting your hardest to do the right thing then at least you’d go to Hell knowing you’d done all you could.

    So I choose to go to Hell in my own way, why not you in yours?

    • Well ,LOL, I’m pretty sure that as many times as I’ve been told I am going to hell, I can consider my reservation secure. So yeah, I’ll pretty much go my own way; I sometimes just get disheartened that I can’t change anything that I see happening.

  2. I don’t have many more readers than you, and my political opinions are superfluous to the debate. I write for myself more than anything, and as a live email to the friends I’ve made on the tubes.

    $0.02

    Fucking keyboard doesn’t have a cents sign!?!?!

  3. Rowan says:

    If you do stop, I will miss you. I think of it more as a “I see you” sort of thing. As long as we are ‘seeing’ the bastards, they don’t get it completely their own way. I’m not good at ranting, and my life is under serious siege right now, but I read your words and I always seem to learn something or know where to apply what i have. Sure there are others out there, but I like your bluntness.

    • I think that is part of the issue for me, Rowan. I don’t think telling them “I saw what you did” impresses them anymore. The reply, more and more often is “Yeah, so fucking what, Bitch?”

  4. Sixbears says:

    Leave it up and see how long you can go without posting. I bet something will inspire you to rant. If you can walk away, then it was time to walk away. However, I’d miss it.

    • :::sigh:::: That is just it, Six. There IS always something to rant about; but if ranting is all I have to offer, I don’t know if it does any good. I went into more detail about my sense of never being in step ANYwhere over at EP because it is worse yet on my non-ranty side of the old brain-casing. It just feels like there is so little real DISCUSSION anywhere any more. Ideologues and screaming, mental fences and slapping down curiosity and exploration …makes me a bit slap happy myself!

  5. Anti Kate says:

    Well, I read both your blogs. I use a reader to do it, so I don’t know if your software counts that or not.

    As to the rest of it, I’m sorry. Despair sucks. There’s a lot of it going around these days. I think an alternative to the Occupy or other JustDoSomethingAboutIt movements might be something I’d call Turn Away. I’m working to take what little I have left away from Wall Street and Politics and I’m turning away from them. Because they are bigger than me.

    • I don’t think despair is quite where I am (tho’ odd news stories are Star Trek Transporter worthy there!), but yes, there is certainly a quality of feeling like I am surfing a bigger wave than I ever wanted to even SEE. It makes one feel like a tiny floating mote in a mess of Katrina-grade flood water, and your voice is drowned out in the wind howl. So I do find myself turning more inward and solitary partially because it feels like conversation is dying. (And yes, I do blame Twitter and Facebook for the soundbiting of public discourse, thank you. Just because MY poetry is usually haiku, for instance, does not mean it should be the ONLY form practiced, for example!)

    • P.S Yes, the stats do count the reader!

  6. mac1949 says:

    All I can really say is… I sympathize. I haven’t posted on either of my blogs for ages, partly because life interferes, but mostly because of the question of what I’m really accomplishing.
    I’m going to pick it up again, though, if for no other reason than I’m not going to let the bastards wear me down. Sure, there are plenty of other blogs that do it better, but at least my small efforts make me feel as though I have a voice- and that kinda makes it worthwhile.

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Herland

The name of this blog, and my Dreamwidth blog, Herlander Refugee, is taken from a 1915 feminist novel "Herland". It makes my heart sing that modern women are experimenting with creation of a new "Herland"! Yes, comments are closed. Anyone who just MUST reach me can do so at syrbal6 at gmail dot com.

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